Saturday, April 19
Aye . Had A Nice Night Out . Part 21 22 23 24 25 Coming Up ! Xuan Le , Yuqi , Gattison , Leslie & Me Went To Old Airport Road For Dinner . I Was Looking Forward To A Spread But Turned Out Not Much . After Makan , Gat's Fren , Adrina Met Up With Us And Went To Kallang Leisure Park Walk Walk . It's New And Nth Much Yet . Then Home Le . Sadly No Pic For The Day . I've Turned Rusty In DJ Max !!! ARGH ! Time To Play Again Heh .
Right , Part 21 22 23 24 25
‘ Boy ar, come, drink this .
'
It was close to my June examinations and my mum knocked and came into my room , bringing me the usual examination brain tonic -Chicken Essence . I gulped down the entire bottle and sat by my study table in my room . Working through previous years papers had driven me to the pinnacle of madness . I looked out the window and thought of Clare , again .
It has been a few months since I last saw or heard from her . After my stupid answer that day , I regretted totally over everything . I had my last glance when I spoke my last words to her. As I left that day , I controlled myself emotionally and held back my tears . For a guy's image, I can't allow such feelings to overpower me.
I went online that day to see if she was ,but no she wasn't . I knew it was already past midnight, but I finally succumbed to my inner self and went off to bed .
I don't know why she never contacted me since then , but I knew she had her reasons . Maybe she lost my number ? Maybe she’s busy adapting to her new life ? Or maybe she had already forgotten about me ? No ! That can't be ! How can those precious moments and time that took place be so easily forgotten ? The day I knew her , our chats ,the movie , dinner , straw playing , the beach , the unexpected rain ,the cuddling and every other tiny little details . Was All These meant only to be a dream ?
Tomorrow is the start of my exams . I rubbed my eyes a little and stretched , telling myself not to ponder over past issues as it may affect my exam performance . I went back to my books and paper and continued working on it .
' Boy ar ! Your Call ! '
My call ? At such an hour of the night ?
' Hello ? '
There was no response , but somehow I had the feeling that it washer .
' Clare ?? Is that you ? '
I was praying and gripping the phone cord tightly , hoping for a miracle to happen .
' How ? how did you know it was me ? '
' I just felt that it was you ! Hey ! I haven’t heard from you for SO LONG ! '
I emphasized on the words 'So long ' as if I had never heard anything from her for a few decades . The first thing I did was to tell her to hang on for a moment and screamed at the top of my voice , literally . My happiness could not be contained inside me and I needed to release it . Then I " scolded " her, in a gentle tone , for not contacting me and making me worry for her .
' Sorry . I can't use the phone here for very long . '
Actually , I don't mind the duration of her calls - I just wanted to hear her voice so badly .
' Cloud , Missed me ? '
' For making me worried and missing you so badly , you’ll owe me another day out ! '
I just wanted to be with her again .
We spoke on the phone , talking about everything we could and the pressing examination stress seemed to vanished . I was hoping in my heart that time will freeze so that we could chat till the end of time .
' Cloud , remember that day when I asked you if you would visit me in Japan and you said you would ? '
' Yea ! You want me to go over ? Sure ! Tell me your address , I’ll go over right after my examination next sat . '
' Next sat ? examination ?. When is that ? '
' Maybe 28 May or slightly later . Yeah , tell me your address ? '
I jolted down her contacts in Japan and kissed it .
' Cloud , I got to go already . I can't use the phone anymore . Before I put down the phone , is there anything you want to tell me ? '
' Take good care of yourself alright ? I can't wait to see you again ! '
' You hang up first Cloud , I don't want you to hear me hang up on you . '
With a heavy heart , our conversation ended as I put the phone down . In preparation for the up coming trip to Japan , I sped up my revision , determined to do well so that I could psycho my mum topay for my trip . I want to thank God for giving me this chance!!HOORAY!
*Days passed*
At last ! I am close to finishing my examinations - the last paper was coming soon . I was home , like any other day , doing my revision . My mum said that after I finish this examination , she would pay for my tickets , provided I give her my word that my results would be good when it is out . I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE! I want to see her so badly and life had been so good to me . Even though little set backs came along the way , I love the surprises Cupid had in stored for me .
From dawn to dusk , I had been studying non-stop , although my mind wandered away to the thought of seeing her again . For the sake of going over , everything is worth it !
Then , in the amidst of studying , my mum called for me and I guess it must be regarding the trip . Heh , Yeah ! I will get to see her soon !
>>---------------------------
' Boy ar , a letter for you . '
Huh ? A letter for me ? I had never received a letter addressed to me before . I examined the envelope and it wrote ' To Cloud ' on the front . Curiously , I tore opened and the letter fell out .
Dear Cloud ,
Before I begin , I apologise for not telling you everything about myself . In this world , if there is one person I wouldn't want to see crying - it would be you .
I wrote this letter on the night when we parted .I feared that I may not have the chance to see you again this lifetime . I knew you were putting up a brave front because as a woman , it’s ok to cry and I knew you would be there to console me , but someone has to be the stronger one to console and reassure right ?
The reason why I have to go back to Japan is because I am suffering from blood cancer that may claim my life very soon if it is not treated . My parents wants me to go back to take a major operation there because if this operation were to fail , I would disappear from the surface of this world and they want to be with me during this period , that's why I asked you if you would come to visit me if I asked you to .
The success rate of this operation is only 30% and anything could happen . So I want to tell you that I appreciate your company , your advices , everything you did or said . I giggled to myself every night after our chats online and I began to ask myself if I fell in love with you . I guess I did , although you never expressed yourself to me . Perhaps it is just one sided , but no wrong liking you right ?
You told me you would rather wait for the special one , and I told you I would also wait for mine . During that time when I was cuddling in your arms , I knew that you were the one . I hoped that the cab could drive slower because I may not get the chance to cuddle with you again . You may have found a girlfriend by then , or I am already in heaven watching over you .
My operation begins on 24th May and I will call you maybe a week or so before to fulfill the promise you made about you coming over to visit me in Japan . By then you would know the truth and I can see you again for the last time , at least .
But then again , if you received this letter through mail sent by my guardian , it means that I am already gone , leaving my physical body , leaving my suffering and of course , leaving this world . But do not despair , as I will always be around you , shielding you like what you did , in vain , to protect me from the rain . You said you were not romantic at all , but to me , you are the best a guy could ever be .
I am feeling a little tired just writing this letter , but I am determined to finish what I have to say . If there is one final question I want you to ask me , it would be you asking me whether if I like good-looking guys . No , I don't like them because I like guys like YOU - unique and extraordinary , just like Rosemary in the movie we watched together . This distinct character can only be found in you and I want you to keep it that way for I like the way you are , not the way you look .
I love you , Cloud , very much . Clare .